Rachel and Leah by Orson Scott Card

Author:Orson Scott Card [Card, Orson Scott]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Deseret Book Company
Published: 2010-11-02T06:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 14

Bilhah brought the comb to Leah’s inner room, expecting to prepare her hair before they went to study with Jacob this morning. But Leah was still lying in bed. “My eyes hurt from yesterday’s reading,” she said.

“That’s why you should stop trying to read for yourself,” said Bilhah. “I was taught to read so you wouldn’t have to.”

“I like to see the words with my own eyes.”

“They’re written so small,” said Bilhah. “They’re not easy even for me.”

Leah sighed. “I don’t want to go today.”

“But Jacob is waiting,” said Bilhah.

Leah rolled over, turning her back to Bilhah. “Go and tell him not to wait,” said Leah.

Bilhah couldn’t understand why Leah was acting this way. “What about the word of God?”

“It will still be there tomorrow, won’t it? The books won’t vanish in the night, will they? Can’t anybody ever just do what I ask, for once?”

For once? People do what you ask all the time. Or rather, they do what you demand—and wish that you would ask, so they could do it freely.

But Bilhah said nothing. It wouldn’t do to provoke an argument with Leah. When Leah was in a good mood, she was sweet and they could almost be friends. But when she was feeling sorry for herself, she would say the nastiest things and then, later, not even realize that she had been hurtful. Maybe, thought Bilhah, it was because Leah couldn’t see the expressions on people’s faces. If they didn’t tell her in words what they were feeling, maybe she simply didn’t know they were hurt or irritated by the things she said.

“Do you want me to comb your hair anyway?” asked Bilhah.

“I don’t know why I should take special pains just to go see my sister’s husband anyway,” said Leah.

“I didn’t think you combed your hair for Jacob,” said Bilhah. “I thought you prepared yourself to go before the Lord.”

“God sees me all the time anyway,” said Leah. “So that’s just stupid. He sees me when I’m dirty and sweating and stinking hot. He sees me at my very worst.”

Bilhah knew this was a silly argument. But if Leah wanted to pretend she didn’t know the difference between ordinary life and going to read the words of God, it wasn’t worth arguing with her.

“I’ll go tell Jacob you aren’t coming,” said Bilhah.

“I’m going to sleep again,” said Leah. “My eyes are so tired.”

Yes, you said that already, and I haven’t forgotten, even if I am just the stupid girl who learned to read so that your eyes wouldn’t have to be tired.

Of course Bilhah knew that this wasn’t about tired eyes, or not entirely, anyway. Leah was disappointed in the word of God. She had expected to have the meaning of her whole life spelled out for her, apparently, and was bitterly disappointed that most of the writing was about Enoch and his teachings and experiences. Leah kept trying to turn the meaning of every line of the scripture into some specific reference to her own life, and Jacob kept saying, No, this is the message Enoch gave to the people from God.

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